Me, Legos and multifandom

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277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna

Beware of me.

CW: Suicidal, created a fake NOT VISIBLE account to help himself to let go and move on, attempts to kill himself in fear and out of BEING stalked in real life, has no idea how to talk to people like not fucked up person, anger issues that make do fucked up things, death threats only towards people who remind of HIM.

Yes, I’ve being told all of this and I won’t deny it. Some of the things that were told about me are truth, but only some. So let me get this little bit clealer, because in THAT situation, both sides are guilty.

And I would have liked to start from the “stalking”. I’m sorry if it’s going to sound rude, but do you honestly think I didn’t had other friends here? Maybe I fuck up at talking, maybe I am suicidal, maybe i am fucked up and have broken mental health, but even like this I STILL have few friends here, which ALREADY crosses the “stalking”

Manipulation. Maybe the way how I was talking could be seen as manipulation, but there is a small difference and this difference is the fact that I FROM THE START said that I fuck up at talking. And nobody, NOBODY even said a WORD that “Hey, the way you are talking is not normal, try to talk differently, because this creeps me out” or “Hey, let’s not bring this up when we are talking” or “How about I tell you what to say to not make it look like you are manipulating?” Was it so hard? Or you were afraid to hurt me by saying it? If so, I feel deeply sorry because I was saying A LOT of times that saying shit to me and about me is a COMMON thing to say. But if the way I was talking was seen as manipulation in your eyes, I am deeply sorry, because it was the LAST thing I was doing.

Death threats… Yes. This is truth. I sent them. I don’t deny it. But the is small BUT, I do NOT sent them without a reason. “And what’s the reason?” you going to ask. Believe it or not but one of the reasons was the fact how our “friendship” was coming from start to end and the second, because after the block, I started to feel spied on. This sounds stupid but only think HOW blocking a person works. When SOMEONE blocks you, you can’t see persons blog or write to him, but when YOU block a person, you CAN. Get what I mean? This fact made me feel terrified, because I’ve BEEN stalked in REAL LIFE and this fact made me remember these times AND made me act like this. And also that ask with “Im glad that i found your blog” was also sent by me and the art was drawn MONTHS BEFORE that day and posted BEFORE the death threats.

That fake account. I already wrote that I created it ONLY because I wanted to HELP myself to FINALLY let go and move on. You can believe it or not, but it WAS helping. I was “cutting the ties” slowly and making myself understand that this is NORMAL, that people become friends and cut the ties. The arts and whole “stealing” were only to help it happen faster. And also, If I wanted to create that au, I would have created it already, but I didn’t, did I? No, I did not. I had no idea that someone found it and thought that I am an “identity stealth”. Honestly to god, I have more IMPORTANT shit to deal with than trying to replace someone.

If YOU are reading this or if some of your friends are, then i will repeat, I was NOT trying to replace you, it was the LAST thing that could have possibly came to my mind.

The whole “might think about the worst possible scenario” and “trying to know everything” is sorry for saying, but complete bullshit. I’ve been having a LOT of shit going on and I was GENUALLY afraid that something could have been going on with you. If it was seen like I am trying to control you or something like that, then I am genuinely sorry that you thought like this. And if this indeed was truth and you TRULLY thought like that, then why didn’t you just wrote something like, “hey I appreciate that you ask it, but please stop, I don’t like to talk about feelings and if you are still worried, then just wait, I might just be busy” And NOTHING more! If you only sent this to me, I WOULD have understood AND stopped! Because I DID stopped when I was asked about something, all you had to do is just to say it like THIS, simple and short. I don’t need an essay with lots of water, I need simple “I’m not comfortable” and nothing else.

As to why I was acting like that, the reason is the fact that he was not the only one who was feeling trapped in that “friendship”. There were a lot, A, LOT of times when I was angry, when i was disappointed and feeling betrayed but every time I was trying to find excuses. The most stupid and irrational but still excuses. Then why didn’t I cut the ties first? Because I had no idea that he was feeling the same. Because I didn’t know how to cut them properly. Because he NEVER told me to act different and now that I think about all that, why didn’t you cut the ties differently?

The moment when he choose to do it, was the moment when I was going through a lot and of course it made me take it too personally and see not as “I just don’t want to talk to you, it makes me feel uncomfortable and trapped” but as “you are the only one responsible for this, it would have been better off if you were gone” and ONLY if he “cut the ties” differently, none of this would have happened. How? For example like this:

“Hey look, I want to cut ties with you, but this doesn’t mean that we stop being friends, we just not going to talk anymore, it makes me feel exhausted”

THIS would have been ENOUGH. There is NO things that can be possibly taken too personally, it’s simple and short. Maybe not in his style, but I repeat, I do NOT need an essay, I need short answer and NOTHING more.

Now as to “this is how I care”. Yes. Yes this is the ONLY way I know how to care. Because ALL MY LIFE my dear PARENTS were caring for me like THIS. The only “care” I knew is that it hurts and makes you feel miserable and I had NO idea that this is wrong. Even my roommates were rarely telling me that when you care, you care and not hurt. But I think even if they would have been telling me this more often I still wouldn’t have gotten it correctly.

About suicide baiting. You seriously think that suicide is a joke? It’s not a god damn joke at all and I exactly know what the fuck means being suicidal. If you said about the moment when I was in hospital, then let me get this clear. That week has been PAIN to me, I’ve been followed by strange people and was having A LOT of phone calls and one of them caused me to break and try to end my life. I was NOT planning for it to happen, I was NOT planning to die but hearing HIS voice again made me lose it. But if you mean “other times” there were not so many of them and most of the times I was dealing with this shit all by myself.

This might have made you see me as if I am an attention attractor but honestly to Jesus if he exists, this is NOT kind of attention people want. You really think I was trying to gain attention by being suicidal? If so, then fine, think whatever you want, I’m not going to change your mind.

And honestly to my brain, you REALLY thought that I was trying to become friends again??? If so, then I feel deeply sorry for you. This is the LAST thing that was in my humongous list. Like i already said, you were not the only one who felt trapped in that “friendship” There were LOTS of times when I was feeling out of place and despite all this you think that I would have actually WANTED to return to being “friends”??? NEVER.

I deeply regret the day when we first became “friends” and started to talk. If we didn’t start to talk in a chat way and not in ask/answer way, none of this would have EVER happened. And now that I think about this, if that day I asked you about permission and then added that I do NOT need anything in return, then it would have been less of a head pain.

Also about “fake accounts to boost my arts”. Yes, I did it. I don’t deny it. I created 30 fake accounts. But there is one but. I already gave them to other people almost priceless. Now they belong to them and they can do EVERYTHING they want with them with one small price to pay. They just need to like my posts and nothing more. So this is crossed too.

Now to the last thing. Told you this to people or not, would it change anything? I don’t think so. If you didn’t notice, I am NOT the person who interacts with people first. The only things I can do is ask the permition. Nothing else. You really think that I am going to go to people and start to actually TALK to them? No. And the same goes about you. You saw me first. You followed me first. And you showed me that people can talk like humans and not robots. Am I blaming you? No. I’m just saying everything how it is.

I’m not denying the fact that I did all of this shit and I don’t think that you going to deny your part in it too. When people are fighting both of them are responsible for it and both are right and wrong. Both me and you are guilty and no matter how much you are an “innocent” person that got attacked, we both know that this is truth.

Your side of story, the side of a victim, is only a PART of whole picture. This is why I’m writing all of this. I WANT to clear this up. I want people to see the situation from the eyes of attacker. Because even murder has his reasons to kill. Reasons might sound stupid and irrational but they are still reasons.

And these are my reasons. Now you all see the WHOLE picture of what and why happened.

And now that I am done with you Max, I would have liked to say some things to Mint.

Mint, if you are going to see this, or if someone going to tell this to you, I feel deepely sorry for making you fear me, for making you fear saying something wrong to me. I know you won’t believe it, but this is truth. Out of all people I’ve actually been talking to longer than a day, you are the one I will never hurt. You was never making me feel betrayed or unwanted. Yes some shitty things were happening and we were making each other feel worse but in the end and even now I hold no negativity. The amount of good things and talks we were having is a lot more than bad. The way how you cut the ties did not made me see it as a bad thing. The way how you wrote it made me realize that it was indeed a bad idea and that you were scared to cut them and I don’t blame you for this. I also don’t blame you for blocking me, I understand the reason why you did it. I genuinely feel sorry that you saw this side of me, but I can’t change it no matter how much I want it. As you asked me, I’m not going to draw anything connected to you. I’m not going to do anything. I am droping it and moving on, just like you said.

The only thing that surprised me, is the fact that even after you knew about all of this, you still don’t hate me. This doesn’t make sense to me. I fucked up really badly and yet you still genuinely want me to get help and be fixed.

And if you going to read this, know, I am still trying to find at least online therapist, I’ve been trying for month already but I already told you the reason why I don’t really believe that this going to work at all. But I will try. And maybe one day I am going to be fixed.

Now to the final reason as to why I’m writing all of this. I want to put all the dots on E to stop thinking about this. What happened, already happened. We can’t change the past. I do feel regret for my actions. I would have wanted to change it and I would have if it was possible. Am I going to miss talking to Max? No. Am I going to miss talking to Mint? Yes. But I also understand that this is in the past. It was fun. But there is no way to return it.

Now I am done. Am I going to return to this topic again? No. I am not going to. If people not going to force me, I won’t. The only this kind of post I might do going to be about my “therapy progress”.

Now this is it. I am done with this and not going to return to this topic. But now. You all see MY reasons on to why I did it.

The topic is closed.

Pinned Post alex talking Beware of I am not a monster i am a human and humans make mistakes you all did mistakes too i had my reasons to behave this way And I'm going to learn on my mistake s Also the same goes for you and your friends if you are the fRiEnD of max and you still follow me or/and like my stuff don't write comments or interact with me ANY possible way I don't know you or hold any negative towards you but i don't want to keep being circus clown in that circuse full of clowns

The truth hidden in nightmares

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Looks like Peter’s going to be not the only one who’s going to have “warning” nightmares.

Harry is going too. About what? About a lot of stuff but mostly about Oscorp, his father, his father’s death, Green Goblin and Peter. (I can’t say more details cause else I’m to spoiler too much of important stuff)

But I will say that one of them (the one on art) is going to be the most “look I am openly telling you the truth that you blind idiot going to ignore” one XD

And it’s going to be about Green Goblin and Harry aka their father-son moment (And remembering that Peter is possessed by Norman Osborn/Green Goblin) It’s going to be you know, as creepy as hell to Harry (You will later /most likely after chapter 8 or 9/know why XDDD)

tssm tssm au tssm the devil within au tssm peter parker tssm green goblin green goblin peter parker spider man the spectacular spider man spectacular spider man tssm harry osborn harry osborn HybridAlexArt I'm still practicing and just wanted to share the middle result cause you know my goal is to get into art style whole 100% so yeah just sharing where I'm currently standing XP
crowcussion
minty-kin

❗AVOID THESE PEDOPHILES AT ALL COSTS! ❗

I was scrolling through Tumblr and came across a post of KNOWN PEDOPHILES ON TUMBLR (many of which have or want to rape actual children/minors)

THERE ARE ACTUAL PEDOPHILES ON TUMBLR TRYING TO GET IN TOUCH WITH MINORS ON TUMBLR

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PLEASE SIGNAL BOOST THIS LIST AND KEEP OUR MINORS SAFE

pedophiles-arent-kawaii

☆ Reblogging the version not invaded by pedophiles/pedophile apologists ☆

ijustlikegayporntoomuch

Lets fucking roast this shit out of em guys!

minty-kin

Just gonna say this again.

DO NOT IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM INTERACT WITH THEM. JUST BLOCK/REPORT.

girl-in-the-tardis

# REBLOG TO SAVE A LIFE!!!!

chunkyhomsar

PLEASE REBLOG THIS! IF YOU CAN, MAKE SURE TO REPORT THE USERS IN THE PICS ABOVE

bloodthirstypigeon

Reblogging bcs I know some of my mutuals are minors - stay safe you guys! 💙

(Tagging as WordGirl to make sure the minors in our fandom see this and are aware!)

melodythebunny

😨😰

Yeesh no wonder why my parents don’t really want me on the internet…bc creeps like these

i agree they indeed are disgusting
theshadowrealmitself
theshadowrealmitself

The Spiderman one I usually think about, tho..okay, first I gotta give y’all some background info, so there’s a Spiderman run where Norman Osborn frames him for murder, so Spidey has to create 4 new identities (2 heroes and 2 villains if I remember correctly) to go undercover, solve the murder, and clear his name (and I think at least 2 of those identities? Get picked up by other people and continue on as new heroes?)

So I was thinking about it awhile ago, because most of it was about going undercover, and it just led to me thinking about Spidey making a villain identity, except villains like to hang out

Cause, y’know, villains don’t actually have secret identities most of the time, and they’re usually teaming up against other heroes

So every time I think about Spidey having a fake villain identity, I think about the lengths he’d have to go to to make sure that villain identity also has a fake civilian identity

(His fake villain civilian identity has an apartment rn in my head, Peter Parker would actually be financially stable if he weren’t paying for this second fucking apartment, he can’t get rid of it because villains knowing where to “find him” is how he gets away without sharing phone numbers and other info, as well as evades their suspicion)

(They keep crashing at his place)

(He’s trying to work up the nerve to ask them to pay some rent if they’re gonna keep stopping by)

Guilty

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Yeah, yeah, yeah I am one of people who think that Anton was somehow connected to Oleg’s death (remembering episode 3 and what was said in it), so this is why I drew this!

My au Dima following Anton around and making him very paranoid and terrified, since he is the only one who sees Dima in his “dead” form.

дмо дима антон дмо ау my student spirit au my student spirit still alive au hybridalexart I am upgrading art style for this fandom too in the nearest future I'm just currently too focused on tssm art style practise Also this was kind of inspired by one scene from Amanda's game XD
shaampoo
theshadowrealmitself

Harry: And why shouldn’t I blame Spiderman for your injuries?? He calls himself a hero, protecting civilians like you should be his priority! Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t kick his ass for letting you get hurt!!

Peter: Because-

Newscaster on the tv next to Harry: In this footage you can see Peter Parker, known freelance photographer for the Daily Bugle, actually shove Dr. Doom out of his way while yelling “move it or lose it,” as he runs with his camera, presumably to capture more pictures of the vigilante known as “Spiderman”

Harry:

Peter: -I’m a dumbass.

lenacraft

The image of Peter shoving Doom out of the way though. Like, did he get his ass beat? Or was Doom just stunned?

He must have flashbacked to getting pushed around in high school, lying on the pavement wondering why a guy that weighs a hundred pounds wet could shove him so easily in his armor. (I don’t know if Dr. Doom is even physically strong.)

Anyways, Harry’s about to have an aneurysm because of Peter “I push supervillains around for fun” Parker. Mr. One Bad Day Away according to his coworkers.

Shadow! SHADOW. This could tie in with the Polarizer post. The folks at the Daily Bugle see Parker pushing villains around for a shot or when he’s late to work and just goes: Oh, he’s gonna be top dog when he turns.

Just: “Hey Parker, want a coffee? ᵈᵒⁿᵗ ᵏⁱˡˡ ᵐᵉ ʷʰᵉⁿ ʸᵒᵘ ᵍᵒ ᵉᵛⁱˡ, ᵒᵏᵃʸ?”

theshadowrealmitself

Absolutely

Also, he was quick enough running that he got away with it, in fact, it’s not till he hears the news that he realizes who he pushed, that point of calling himself a dumbass was him realizing for the first time how badly he fucked up

He spends awhile after that anxiously waiting the consequences of what he’s done, when he runs into Dr Doom as Peter Parker, he’s once again in a bad mood, so several things happen quickly:

Doom confronts him, Peter snarks back at him, Harry freaks out and pulls a weapon out to defend his friend (he’s started carrying one around after realizing how disastrously Peter lives his life), and Reed intervenes because of course if Dr Doom’s running around then the fantastic four are close behind

So not only did everyone see Peter not back down from Dr Fucking Doom, but they all just saw Harry Osborn pull out a weapon, obviously something Oscorp specific that he got from his dad, and realize that Peter’s villainy could easily be funded and supported by Oscorp

It’s at this point that the coworkers who were just making jokes about future villain Parker start to join the others in genuinely believing it

Meanwhile, Peter’s just happy that one of his science heroes defended him …up till JJJ starts yelling at him for not getting pics of the fight despite being right there, meanwhile the rest of his coworkers are behind Peter, trying to silently tell JJJ to stop stop stop

They don’t know what’s preventing Peter from turning into a supervillain, seems like it’d be so easy for him to do so at this point, but they’re happy that whatever it is exists

Honestly, they’d probably believe that Aunt May is the one stopping him, and now every time she gets sick she gets a ton of cards and flowers and gifts from Peter’s coworkers wishing begging for her health to return

This is how “Peter Parker is already one of the villains” rumors surface

(Also!! This could tie in with him having a fake villain identity, he does all that work to make a fake civilian identity to go with it, but because only the villains know about the fake civilian identity, everyone else goes “shit that must be Parker.” he’s freaking out, why are people associating that identity with him??)

lenacraft

🤣🤣😂🤣 “Shit that must be Parker.”

I need Harry to find out about the supervillain persona apartment. Like, Peter has to desperately explain that it’s for photo-ops or something. He’s not actually a super villain or intending to be and Harry just thinks: Is this why Spider-Man hates him?

Now Harry has a conspiracy board. But also, determinedly devoted henchman Harry Osborn. Fake name when?

theshadowrealmitself

Hear me out tho, Harry hearing that people think Peter (his Petey, his bestest friend) is a villain, and Harry knows damn well that’s not how Aunt May and Uncle Ben raised him, so he does his own investigating

And by a stroke of luck he manages to connect it to Spiderman

It all just loops back around to Harry blaming Spiderman for the things going wrong in Peter’s life

Also yes determinedly devoted henchman Harry Osborn needs to be a thing

(Jhgfsl Harry creates a secret identity specifically to take down Spiderman because he found out about his secret villain identity, except, maybe due to the use of Oscorp tech, everyone knows it’s Harry immediately, so instead of people realizing he’s trying to be a hero (except for maybe JJJ), everyone thinks Peter’s finally snapped and sent his devoted henchman (Harry) after his obvious arch nemesis Spiderman)

hisuian-history-makers

Oh but it gets even worse! The supervillains who Peter “Might be New to Villiany” Parker worked with before they became villains is a pretty interesting list. I imagine a more stable Doctor Curt Connors is mildly horrified that young Parker has turned to crime. (He had such a bright future…) Octavius, who I think usually figures out Spider-Man’s identity, wonders what game he is playing having a hero and villian identity. One which doesn’t even try to hide his civilian identity—to throw people off?

Whether he knows or not, Norman thinks that Peter snapped from the pressure. Now Harry was more expected considering the history of the Goblins. Even just taking the damn serum.

The heroes don’t know what to do. Peter only seems to be focusing on Spider-Man at the moment. Which could of course escalate. Yet it gives them someone to help direct his attention away from civilians. Richards blames himself for failing another Doom situation despite his best efforts. Maybe he should have tried working with Parker more directly? SHIELD wonders how they missed him teaming up with Osborn Industries. Spider-Man himself is not amused by how many different people try budding into his schedule in-mask while avoiding Harry.

Somehow, Aunt May does not hear of this at all.

The real kicker from an outsiders perspective is that Peter still submits photos to the Bugle. He collects a paycheck without trying anything close to robbing people. What type of villian even is Peter if he focuses primarily on Spider-Man? One with morals maybe? (For Now???)

five-rivers

Can I propose that JJJ thinks Peter's villain persona is great and enthusiastically shills for him constantly?

five-rivers

Like, that's his boy, Peter! Fighting the Spider-Menace! He's way too emotionally constipated to ever tell Peter he cares about him to his face, but the alter ego is fair game!


Peter is so tired.

ruffboijuliaburnsides

OP I am living for this situation

whetstonefires

kljaf;kld yeah peter if harry brought this to him would be like

1) i can't be a supervillain because uncle ben would be disappointed in me (actual reason!)

2) if i was a villain i would be making. so much money. harry look me in the face i would not flagrantly do evil and not even get paid for it, please give me just that many sanity points. just that much credit is all i ask.

the-haiku-bot

kljaf;kld yeah

peter if harry brought this

to him would be like

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

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Mini something I drew. I didn’t felt like drawing background so yeah, for THE FIRST TIME I am leaving art without it but even so I think that it turned out pretty good (Not that great as I wanted) but still good.

Where does this takes place? Well few days after the last art I drew for this au. Aka THIS art and it follows Were!Mario and Luigi that got invited to somethin interesting and not just them but their family and friends too.

That's all you get today about them XD Not even a single new bit of lore for this au or how it's going at this current moment. At least not today mah brain's tired XDDD mario mario turned au luigi mario au mario movie super mario bros mario fanart super mario smb movie werecreature mario bros mario and luigi super mario bros movie mario bros movie super mario movie the super mario bros movie luigi mario the mario movie mario 2023 HybridAlexArt

Tha lizard boi!

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I know I should be drawing and explaining my other au’s but I just couldn’t help myself and not draw quick art with this small bean from one of my MSM 2017 au.

As obvious I will explain the au itself later, I just wanted to draw the him (The art style will 100% change and for the better, i’m just currently not home and was bored) XP

msm claws and fangs au msm peter parker peter parker lizard spider man msm 2017 spiderman marvel's spiderman 2017 marvel's spiderman hybridalexart I'm getting tired of drawing simple arts so i might start to draw small storyboard like thingies because i said so XDD